Warm April weather was holding.
The staff car was idling in the compound, Cpl. Albers at the wheel. Anna rummaged through the heap of dirty laundry the girls had handed over, stuffing more shirts, socks and underwear into the bursting knapsack and the pillow case, to be washed at home.
Cpl. Albers as the Medic was the one who should be told, the girls had decided, and Anna was chosen to deliver the message. She knew it had to be done but couldn’t think of the right words.
“Put it in writing,” she had pleaded.
As she struggled out the door with her stuff, Lotte appeared, helped her take it over and leaned in to the Corporal.
“By the way,” she said soberly, “there are six FEMALES in this unit who need a supply of SANITARY PADS. Please look after it.” Turned and left, waving over her shoulder.
Anna sat, beet-red in the face, but the Corporal just laughed. They drove in silence, Anna pointing the way. As they approached the familiar building that housed the local Hitler Youth administration, there seemed a lot of activity right in front. Staff cars parked at odd angles, Police and Senior Hitler Youth officials in uniform stood about with clipboards. A ladder was carried out from the rear of the building.
“That’s the local HY meeting hall,” Anna told the Corporal. “I wonder what’s going on.” He just shrugged.
Her little brother, Foffie, came running out the gate in shirtsleeves and clutched her around the middle, looked up at the Corporal, who couldn’t come in for a moment, no thank you, and drove off.
Tatyana was at the door in her neat gray apron. She had been crying. No news from her mother or brother for many weeks.
Anna hugged her, and Tatyana’s tears began flowing again, as Anna held her tight. Foffie stood quietly by.
“Let’s never lose hope, Tatyana,” she said. “You know, HOPE?”
Anna looked around eventually. Mother was nowhere to be seen. The hall was in a shambles. Four mattresses had been dragged downstairs, with a fifth pumping its way towards them.
Nadja and Korinna climbed over the heap and kissed her.
“We’re taking these down to the pantry. Four can go on the shelves and brother’s old crib fits in the corner. Tatyana will be on the folding cot. There’s room for everybody.”
“I was kind of looking forward to sleeping in my bed,” said Anna, ruefully scratching her head. This was no time for reflection that their home might never be the same again.
“Oh, are you back then?” asked Nadja.
“Nono, I brought the girls’ laundry. Do we have gas? Is there hot water?” Tatyana nodded and went for the wash tubs.
“I need to take these back tomorrow. I may have to iron the shirts dry,” Anna said. “And I want to wash my hair.”
“How is Mother?” Nadja and Korinna looked at each other. Tatyana turned her head and placed her finger over her lips.
Mother’s face brightened when Anna came in. She put down her pen and closed the ink bottle, blotting the sheet of music she had been writing. Tiny notes on fine lines.
“My big girl, my oldest,” she said, “can you stay home now? Are you finished? You look tired.”
“Yes, of course, I’m tired but it’s really bearable. No, I’m not through yet, just came to do some laundry. It’s awkward to do out there. I have to go back tomorrow. You are moving all the beds to the basement? Probably a good idea.”
“Yes, we have two air raids most nights now.”
“I know, Mom. I’m just a couple of kilometres away, remember? I called you about that. What’s this?”
“Oh, a letter for you. It came just this morning, from the government apparently.”
“Probably a birthday card. Sweet sixteen tomorrow.”
A form letter, bearing her name, address and birth date. She tore open the envelope.
“Mother, this must be a mistake. It looks like a draft notice. I’m to report to this tank battalion tomorrow morning at 8.00 a.m.”
“I beg your pardon? They can’t be serious. You’re a fifteen year old girl.”
“They’re aware of that. My whole name and birth date are printed on this form — and there’s no phone number to call. They don’t want to answer questions. They want you there, at 8.00 a.m., taking orders.”
“If only your father were here to —”
“Mother, he isn’t. What am I going to do?”
When Tatyana fully understood what the letter meant, she was heard sobbing loudly over the laundry tubs. Nadja went to talk to her, while Anna tried to get through to Home Guards HQ to see what they had to say, but they put her on hold without hearing her story, then connected her with her own unit, meaning the Lieutenant. Anna’s eyes focused on the refrigerator, out of order for the past year.
Little brother patiently stood by, hoping she would come out, wearing her roller skates and push him on his scooter, fast. Receiver by the ear, she promised while the Lieutenant rummaged around his files, then assured her he would straighten out ‘the obvious glitch.’
On the morning of her sixteenth birthday, with a serenade coming from the other mattresses, Anna wakes up with a high fever, severe pain around her kidneys.
An hour later their homeopathic doctor comes over from Glienicke and leaves a compound she had brought, and Mother now applies cold compresses to Anna’s wrists and legs. Bending below the upper shelf with Nadja’s newly installed bed, Mother says, “Are you behaving out there? You aren’t, you know, doing anything your father and I wouldn’t approve of? Boys make all the promises in the world to get what they all want…”
“Please lets not have this conversation, Mother,” Anna says, “the boys are totally decent out there. Let’s just forget you said this, shall we?”
“Men are different from us, they are not what we expect, and you aren’t prepared.”
“Mother, we are looking after BOYS, and I’m not even so sure they are all that different from us. One told me the other day when no one could hear that he had always wanted to be a MOTHER.”
“Why, that’s aberrant, or else he was making it up to get your attention.”
“No, he had my attention already. It was his private secret and he needed to trust someone with it before he — before he went out there with a gun.” Mother frowns.
Foffie comes with his favourite picture book and pretends to read her the story. His is a tale of a family with three big girls and a little boy. One day they build a big raft, put their house on it and sail away to go around the whole world. The family takes a number of items very dear to brother’s heart, like Father’s field glasses for spotting birds.
Anna likes this story much better than the one she has been reading to him in this particular book all winter.
Two days later Cpl. Albers picks her up, she still pale and shaky, carrying baskets of clean laundry, a pre-occupied kiss on the cheek from Mother, tight hugs from Tatyana and the siblings.
She waves to the small figure in the middle of the street until the car turns the corner.
“We skipped Easter altogether,” Mother had mumbled, “we didn’t have anything for him, no goodies to nibble on, and so —”
Oh Easter. They had ignored it out at Stolpe as well.
“Church was crammed to the rafters, though.”